Lyrics | Unexamined Emotions

1. A BACKWARD LOOK

(Silke/Kabs) 4:46

As he walks away
Without a backward look
It is a parting
Never understood
City traffic like a dream
Pounding through my blood

How can he leave
Without a backward look?
Do I not deserve
To see his body turn?
A long glance of regret
Before I am finally spurned?

Feel the sun on my skin
Heats me from above
And warms my weary heart
Like a lover should
I sit in the city square
A light breeze on my face
And long for a backward look
And the path of loss retraced

As he walks away
A lifetime is defined
I know with total certainty
All I have left is time
His regrets as keen as mine
The blind leading the blind

As he walks away
Without a backward look
It is a parting
Never understood

Background to the song (by Seán Silke):

I am fond of the Catalonia region of Spain and spend ten days there every summer. The weather is great at that time of year, and in the quieter provincial towns there is a tremendous sense of atmosphere, especial in the town squares or plazas. People-watching is enjoyable and rewarding; a number of my favourite compositions were written at outdoor coffee tables, inspired by the facial expressions or body language of the passersby.

“A backward look” celebrates this world. In the moment of final parting, a lover fails to look back. He walks out of the heroine’s life, apparently without regret. The heat of the sun contrasts with the pain of loss. She still does not understand why their love failed and longs for another opportunity. Most of all, she feels the hurt of that unwillingness to look back one final time.

2. IT WASN'T YOUR CHOICE TO MAKE

(Silke/Kabs) 3:35

You were happy with me, weren’t you?
It wasn’t that something went wrong
One thing after another
No, it was an ending without a cause
There’s a toxin in the water
There’s turmoil in the air
But listen to me when I say this
It wasn’t your choice to make

And now the damage is done
There’s no going back
I’ve no bad memories
They sustain me instead
That’s the problem with happiness
It’s a seductive place
That’s why I keep on saying to you
It wasn’t your choice to make / It wasn’t your choice to make

There’s a man in the airport wandering around
Looking for something to clean
Maybe that’s where you went wrong
Chasing a treacherous dream
It’s not about variety
Being able to make a change
That’s why I keep on telling you
It wasn’t your choice to make

Sometimes I think it was down to me
I could have made things work
In the dead of night my blood runs cold
My stomach starts to churn
But why submit to your habit
Of pointing the finger of blame?
That’s why I keep on telling you
It wasn’t your choice to make / It wasn’t your choice to make
It wasn’t your choice to make / It wasn’t your choice to make

Background to the song (by Seán Silke):

Some decisions should be made together .. and yet one person takes control and (as we say in Ireland) loses the run of themselves, and ruins everything. “It wasn’t your choice to make” is a song about the kind of man who is always looking for something better than what lies within his grasp. Nothing went wrong with his relationship and still he ended it. It’s as if there is something poisonous in one’s temperament and even current happiness isn’t enough to satisfy. The idea for the song was suggested by this quotation – “The difficulty of forgetting a woman with whom you have been happy is that the imagination tirelessly continues to evoke and embellish moments of the past.” (from De L’Amour by Stendhal)

3. THEY DANCE THE MARINERA

(Silke/Kabs) 3:37

In a place called El Sombrero
Not far from where she lives
A gracious senorita
Steps out onto a stage
Her partner too is elegant
I’ve often seen them there
They lift the hearts of those who come
They dance the Marinera

He is a caballero
And she is strong and brave
Pursuing her with passion
She pulls back, like the waves
Then falls towards his waiting arms
Floating through the air
They lift the hearts of those who come
They dance the Marinera

The music swells, the ritual
Retains its strange allure
Though very often repeated
It’s part of what we are
The to and fro, the energy
All in a minor key
The simple love, the bitter sweet
The ever ever vibrant dreams

Our hearts ready and willing
Not worn out by the years
Nothing to do with the evidence
We see what we want to see
And so we choose illusion
The sun that heats the air
They lift the hearts of those who come
They dance the Marinera

Background to the song (by Seán Silke):

In 2016 during my annual visit to the Peruvian coastal city of Trujillo, friends took me to a cabaret restaurant called “El Sombrero” in the city centre. This is a rather brash tourist trap which, due due to its excellent food and vibrant floor show, is also popular with locals. At intervals, an elaborately dressed couple danced the Marinera, the legendary Peruvian dance to which an entire festival is dedicated in the closing weeks of January. Unconsciously, I used this sentimental occasion to describe the national character. In essence, I believe the Peruvian temperament to be a combination of life in a minor key and an endless faith in dreams. Peruvian hearts are not worn out by hardship and disappointment but instead choose on a daily basis to hope and dream – “we see what we want to see”; “we choose illusion”. It is a good recipe for life.

4. I AM NOT UNTOUCHABLE

(Silke/Kabs) 4:26

He is distant, he is charming
A man of the world
With honour, persistence
He gets things done
There is something between us / Unrealised
He’s looking and longing / From afar he admires

But I am not untouchable
I’m not out of reach
Waiting for an overture
Waiting for a kiss
Baby I am not untouchable
Not out of your league
With some imagination
Spend your life with me

A world without values
That’s how we live
Misuse of power
All innocence dead
We cannot escape it / We tire and lose faith
The unending struggle / The daily debate

Putting off decisions
Becomes a way of life
So too our language
Elaborate and trite
But am I not a treasure /And just within grasp
A little less talk now / It’s the moment to act

I am not untouchable / I’m not out of reach
Waiting for an overture / I’m waiting for a kiss
Baby I am not untouchable / Not out of your league
With some imagination / Spend your life with me
I am not untouchable / I’m not out of reach
Waiting for an overture / Waiting for a kiss
Baby I am not untouchable

Background to the song (by Seán Silke):

This song is inspired by The Secret in Their Eyes (El secreto de sus ojos), a 2009 Argentine crime thriller film directed, produced and edited by Juan José Campanella. The film won the Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film at the 82nd Academy Awards.

The story describes the buried romance between a retired judiciary employee and a judge who worked together 25 years previously. Their investigation into a 1974 rape and murder case still overshadows them. The setting is the period of Argentina’s Dirty War (1976–1983), a violent time when criminals often went unpunished.

In 1999, retired official Benjamín Espósito is having trouble getting started on his first novel. He pays a visit to the offices of Judge Irene Menéndez-Hastings to tell her about his plans to recount the story of the Coloto case, the one they both worked on when she was his new department chief and he was the agent assigned to the case. The potential affair all those years ago between Irene and Benjamin was complicated by the difference in their social backgrounds. Benjamin seemed unaware that Irene had fallen for him, or perhaps he choose not to pursue her because she was out of his league.

5. LIKE A SERENADE

(Silke/Kabs) 3:15

Late bar is empty, the music is still
Leaves a girl unsettled
Fox in the alley a sinister friend
Alone but not lonesome
Long after midnight, the taxis in bed
Street sounds are fading
Bell from the town hall it heralds the day
Peaceful like a serenade

Late when we parted, some things best unsaid
Streets are silent
Shop windows sleeping the sleep of the dead
Calm times unrivalled
Late walking home and the night turns to grey
Hope springs eternal
Bell from the town hall it heralds the day
Peaceful like a serenade

Sun thinks of rising, renewing the day
Nice and slowly
Early deliveries just under way
Crisp air unfolding
Cupping the flame as the cigarette flares
Deeply inhaling
Bell from the town hall it heralds the day
Peaceful like a serenade
Like a serenade
Like a serenade
Like a serenade

Background to the song (by Seán Silke):

The French composer, Erik Satie (1866-1925), was a musician very much ahead of his time. Even today his work has a modern feel, totally in keeping with current minimalist and ambient music trends. He is best known to the general public for a number of melodies often included in classical music anthologies. One of these tunes is “Gymnopédie No. 1”. In 2011, I wrote a set of lyrics about walking through Rathmines late at night. Eventually, the idea of using the Satie melody occurred to me. The result is a restful lullaby, put across delicately by Ellen Cosgrove.

6. A TABLE AND A SQUARE

(Silke/Kabs) 3:18

She smokes a cigarette
Cool but ill-advised
Somehow looks expectant
A mist across her eyes
He watches from a distance
Too battle-scarred to care
She and he are separated by
A table and a square

An empty space beneath the sun
The light intense and cruel
The bell rings out to tell the time
The midday hour – it’s noon
And shoppers move discreetly
In the quiet pools of shade
While she and he are separated by
A table and a square

So where is love, she asks
The masterpiece of life
The dream every traveller seeks
The taste of paradise
I long to be a babe in arms
Held tight and still adored
Not cast adrift on a careless sea
Hiding behind words

One day he’ll come early
She’s already in place
He will slowly recognise
Something in her face
And powerfully calling
It engulfs him like a wave
Time for them to be united by
A table and a square

Background to the song (by Seán Silke):

I love the squares (or plazas) of Northern Spain, especially one in the town of Vic. Except on market day, the great space of the plaza is empty, decorated only by the sun and the shadows of the afternoon. There is nothing nicer than spending a few hours here doing nothing, enjoying a coffee and watching the teenagers, the shoppers and the lovers. “A table and a square” was written in the Plaza at Vic and tries in some way to capture the magic of Spanish life and culture.

7. YOU TOLD ME BEFORE

(Silke/Kabs) 5:23

You told me before / I remember it now
I wasn’t ready to hear
The voice of reason / The voice of truth
For I preferred to dream
I decided to live in the present / Put the future on hold
Sounds like a good philosophy / But winter comes hard and cold

You told me before / You cannot take the blame
(Gave) plenty of warning / It hurts all the same
I have no excuses / You told me before
You don’t take pleasure in / Unheeded words
You told me before

You told me before / I remember it now
It didn’t sink into my brain
The thoughts and feelings escaped me
Poured off my skin like rain
There is something wrong with the system / An error in the code
I cannot process the data / It simply ebbs and flows

You told me before / I remember it now
I wasn’t in listening mode
Hundreds of messages swimming around
Not easy to master the code
In hindsight I know the stories you tell
Were issued as clear as a bell
Sender-Receiver, we take them, we leave them
And heap up a mound of regrets

Background to the song (by Seán Silke):

It’s an awful feeling to realise that you received plenty of warning from a friend about a likely bad outcome yet ignored the evidence. In affairs of the heart, it’s an even worse feeling.If your loved one has effectively put you on notice and yet you continue to “put the future on hold”, then you will inevitably reap what you sow. “You told me before” speaks eloquently of a wasted romance. Although it was a very special relationship, the lover “wasn’t in listening mode” but now fully accepts that she has no one but herself to blame.

8. AT THE VILLA

(Silke/Kabs) 5:28

That week at the villa/ We took our breakfast late
A deep blue pool / And a swinging gate
Birds near silent / In the overpowering heat
Just like our heartbeats / Almost as still

That week at the villa/ A big sky overhead
Blue, without mercy / And our bodies felt like lead
In the distance / Those submissive hills
Just like our love / Almost as still

That week at the villa/ Thought we were getting on track
Both looking forward / Though there’s no going back
Recovering something / Something lost on the way
Once automatic / And now out of play

That week at the villa / We were filled with hope
Unrealistic / There no longer was scope
The heavy afternoon / With a heat that kills
Just like our love / Almost as still

A few friends joined us / Walking by the shore
Evening breezes / A little coolness in store
Light conversation / Summer dust upon the floor
Spirits were lifted / For a few hours more

That week at the villa / It was sheer agony
Deferring feelings / So painful and so deep
The sun reproaches / Our indefinite wills
Just like our passion / Almost as still

One more outing / And one final chance
Then we decided / Time to finish the dance
Expectations / All those longings unfulfilled
Didn’t work out / So we locked up the villa
Didn’t work out / We locked up the villa

Background to the song (by Seán Silke):

Some songs have a troubled creative history. The words may be right but the melody isn’t quite strong enough and has to be ditched with reluctance. But perhaps a recycled tune (one composed for another set of unsuccessful lyrics) can be matched perfectly with the surviving words? This is what happened with “At the villa”, written in 2005 and paired with a much better tune in 2016. Although the song has no chorus as such, and depends on a repeated verse melody, the narrative is compelling and draws you in. The theme is that of a summer holiday in an Italian villa where a rocky relationship hopes to find a safe harbour but doesn’t.

9. TIME LONG PAST

(Silke/Kabs) 3:30

In the shady evening glow I read your letters once again
Read until the dawn filled my room with grey
Then I quenched my light and I put them all away
And I prayed for sleep to ease the pain

Like the ghost of a good friend dead is time long past
Words that are forever fled is time long past
A hope which is forever past, a love so sweet it could not last
Like the ghost of a good friend dead is time long past

But I tried to sleep in vain, I could not rest or pray
For thought of you in the slow broadening day
And I thought of the rain in the place where we used to be
And of the way your love changed me

There were sweet dreams in the night of time long past
Was it sadness or delight in time long past
Each day a shadow onward cast which made us wish it yet might last
There were sweet dreams in the night of time long past

People come and people go but your memory stays with me
Innocence was all you had, all I wish you now to be
You say you love me now as then and you know I feel the same
Still I’ll go on missing you till I fall in love again

There is regret, almost remorse for time long past
It’s like a cruel mysterious loss is time long past
A father watches until at last beauty is like remembrance cast
There is regret, almost remorse for time long past

Background to the song (by Seán Silke):

The English poet, Shelley, is not someone you expect to get a songwriting credit in a dance song but he must accept this fate, thanks to my wide-ranging literary influences. Half of the lyrics are adapted from Shelley’s poem, “Time long past”, while the rest of the song indulges in the poetic fashion of that era which romanticised loss, death and memories. In part, this may have been due to the relative shortness of the life span in past centuries.

10. INTO THE DARKNESS

(Silke/Kabs) 4:13

Blacker than midnight
No chance of a cure
I’m facing the music
Indifferent but true
Outside a cat is crying
A distant alarm
This soul surrenders
Swimming into the dark

Into the darkness, a silent farewell
Into the darkness, no fanfare, no bells
On my way out, alone in the end
Into the darkness, ebbing away

Somewhat reconciled
Calm as a grave
Not without resentment
All that knowledge gone to waste
A taxi sweeps by
The wee wee hours asleep
A fox hunts silently
And the world turns its back on me

Into the darkness, a silent farewell
Into the darkness, no fanfare, no bells
On my way out, alone in the end
Into the darkness, ebbing away

Stars so impassive
Eloquent and bleak
Like an empty promise
Like the shops in Christmas week
Blacker than midnight
No chance of a cure
I’m facing the music
Indifferent but true

Into the darkness, a silent farewell
Into the darkness, no fanfare, no bells
On my way out, alone in the end
Into the darkness, ebbing away

Background to the song (by Seán Silke):

The writer Nuala O’ Faolain revealed in a devastating radio interview with Marian Finucane on April 12th 2008 that she was dying of cancer. The honesty and naked emotion of the interview created a sensation in Ireland.

Among other things, Nuala said – “.. the very essence of this experience is aloneness .. the steroids keep you awake at night. So it is two in the morning or four in the morning and you’re walking around and all you know is that whatever it is you are feeling or thinking is yours and nobody else’s. And there is nobody else to lay it off on and that aloneness is the centre and the thing that you never know when you are well …”

(Marion Finucane) “You said it wasn’t so much you leaving the world as the world leaving you”. (Nuala) “I thought there would be me and the world, but the world turned its back on me, the world said to me that’s enough of you now and what’s more we’re not going to give you any little treats at the end”.

“Into the darkness” is an interpretation of Nuala’s bleak realism facing inevitable death.

You can read the full interview here.

11. THE SHELTER OF HIS HANDS

(Silke/Kabs) 2:52

His hands move me
Know how to catch the eye
Have a life of their own
Like butterflies

Makes it look easy
Though most of it is planned
Is it safe
In the shelter of his hands?

His hands encourage
Saying he will abide
Seeking confidences
How long will that survive?

Hands insistent
A pressure I withstand
Is it safe
In the shelter of his hands?

His hands a warning
Fingers can betray
Secret information
Giving him away

Without innocence
An agenda of their own
Makes me uneasy
Like the promise of snow

How can I be sure
He will understand?
Is it safe
In the shelter of his hands?

A touch that I resist
Though under his command
None too safe
In the shelter of his hands
None too safe
In the shelter of his hands

Background to the song (by Seán Silke):

“The shelter of his hands” is a deceptive song, with straightforward lyrics and a simple direct melody. There is a relaxed country music feel, yet the words are not what they at first seem. The singer is in a relationship where the mutual attraction is strong. Yet there are doubts. The girl’s lover promises a safe haven but she suspects manipulation. He controls each effect he creates. The movements of his hands invite trust but there is something in them that gives him away. There is no security here.

12. FALL IN, BABY

(Silke/Kabs) 3:33

I soak you up / I suck you in
I drink your mouth / I lick your lips

Fall in, baby / Just let go
Fall in, baby / Nice and slow

And we can sink forever / Into the abyss
We can sink forever / Perishing with a kiss

To you I cling / To you I cleave
Becoming one / Floating off to sea

Fall in, baby / Just let go
Fall in, baby / Nice and slow

Lean into me, baby / It is time to yield
Give in, give in to temptation / Paradise by degrees

Instrumental section

Touch my face tender / Quench our mutual thirst
Kisses never ending / Kick off from the shore

Fall in, baby / Just let go
Fall in, baby / Nice and slow

To you I cling / To you I cleave
Becoming one / Floating off to sea

And we can sink forever / Into the abyss
We can sink forever / Perishing with a kiss

Instrumental section

Background to the song (by Seán Silke):

Swimming in Ireland always carries a health warning. Why? Because the sea (and rivers) are always freezing here and the initial plunge creates the risk of cardiac arrest. My memories of childhood visits to indoor swimming pools cause me to break out in a cold sweat. As a result, using the image of immersing yourself in water (to describe love’s sensual pleasures) does not necessarily communicate unlimited delight. But let’s press on with the analogy, nonetheless. “Fall in, baby” uses maritime phrases liberally to list the pleasures of love’s sweet dream. Ellen Cosgrove urges us to give in to temptation.

13. WITHOUT ANOTHER WORD

(Silke/Cosgrove) 4:12

Has something happened?
I see it in your eyes
Your look of hurt, the light gone out
A kind of dazed surprise
Do I imagine phantoms
Where nothing has occurred
And you will simply turn away
Without another word
You will simply turn away / Without another word

Has something happened?
Was there a change of mood?
A melancholy undertone
Like winter here too soon
It’s good to talk but here you are
All ready to adjourn
And once again you turn away
Without another word
Once again you turn away / Without another word

Face it now or you will be haunted
By the life you never chose
If you shut your eyes to what’s happening
Don’t say that I closed the door

Has something happened?
The moon is riding high
Cars move slowly down the street
Clouds sail across the sky
How can you choke emotion back
And bear it all alone?
For once again you turn away
Without another word
Once again you turn away / Without another word

Background to the song (by Seán Silke):

When a song gets written easily, there is usually something wrong with it. But “Without another word” entered this world rapidly yet apparently perfect in every way. The mystery of creativity. The song might be described as a companion piece to “A backward look”, sharing something of the same poignant emotion which accompanies an unexpected break up.

14. SAY GOODBYE TO THE DRAMA QUEEN

(Silke/Kabs) 5:10

You’re so good at cutting your losses
I’m such a pro at playing the fool
You’re adept at ending the cycle
You have absolutely nothing to prove
See this face, not the face of a victor
See these tears, as you leave the room

Say goodbye to the big time diva
Say goodbye to the drama queen
Turning my back on cheap emotion
Walking away from a hollow dream
No more falling for the illusion
Nothing ever as it seems
Say goodbye to the big time diva
Say goodbye to the drama queen

Made your decision, left me abandoned,
I look like the loser but you’re the fool
I was your one chance to touch the heavens
In your hands spectacular love
I may be wounded, I will not be broken
I will recover, I will be strong

You’ll discover you were unworthy
A wiser love will enter my world
You threw away a pearl of great value
The only thing worth fighting for
I may be wounded, I will not be broken
I will recover, I will be strong

Say goodbye to the big time diva / Say goodbye to the drama queen
Turning my back on cheap emotion / Walking away from a hollow dream
No more falling for the illusion / Nothing ever as it seems
Say goodbye to the big time diva / Say goodbye to the drama queen

Background to the song (by Seán Silke):

A friend experienced a traumatic break up with a long term lover in 2012. Her usual sunny disposition disappeared. She was wracked with a sense of loss and abandonment. She revisited over and over again the character flaws of her ex-beloved. She resolved to be more self-protective in the future, more logical, more aware of the downsides for her. She resented the way he said goodbye so easily. She blamed herself for her dramatically romantic sensibilities. She fought to hold on to her own value as a person. All of these emotions gave rise to the anthemic “Say goodbye to the drama queen”. It is a song about getting through disaster with your self-worth intact.

1. A BACKWARD LOOK

2. IT WASN'T YOUR CHOICE TO MAKE

3. THEY DANCE THE MARINERA

4. I AM NOT UNTOUCHABLE

5. LIKE A SERENADE

6. A TABLE AND A SQUARE

7. YOU TOLD ME BEFORE

8. AT THE VILLA

9. TIME LONG PAST

10. INTO THE DARKNESS

11. THE SHELTER OF HIS HANDS

12. FALL IN, BABY

13. WITHOUT ANOTHER WORD

14. SAY GOODBYE TO THE DRAMA QUEEN

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